Bonjour, Wanker! Pt 3 - England x Reader

"This is it," Arthur stared at himself in the mirror as he took in a deep breath. "Today is the day that I'll propose to (Name)."

The two of you have been dating for quite a number of years now and the Brit finally decided that it was time to take your relationship to the last and final level. He had everything planned out today. This evening, he was going to pick you up from your house, take you to a five-star French restaurant, stroll through the restaurant's world renowned flower garden, and then propose to you as soon as the two of you reach the garden's Swan Lake with the help of Flying Mint Bunny and all his magical creatures of course! Like Arthur, you were a lover of all things fantasy and who better to ask for help than from his magical friends? He pinned the emerald silk fleur de lis brooch you gave him around him onto the collar of his suit.

Taking a final glance at himself in the mirror, he nodded his head, grabbed his keys, and headed out the door. It didn't take long for him to knock on your front door; after all, you were his neighbor and unfortunately, his rival's sister. The door swung open to reveal the most beautiful person he has ever laid eyes on. Arthur couldn't help but catch his breath at the sight of you. You, (Name) Bonnefoy, looked absolutely stunning. You were wearing a beautiful (f/c) evening gown decorated with delicate lace patterns. It was simple and elegant but everything you wore just blew Arthur's mind. You sported a half up, half down hairstyle with sparkling (f/c) flower pins. Around your neck was the gift he had given you for your birthday, a Victorian style locket imprinted with a white English rose.

"Arthur, your mouth is open," Mint Bunny giggled as Arthur quickly regained his composure.

"You..." Arthur smiled down at you lovingly. "You look amazing."

You gave him a peck on the cheek and laughed, "Merci. You don't look to shabby yourself."

He chuckled and held out his arm, "Are you ready to go?"

"Oui!" You gladly looped your hand around Arthur's arm as he led you to the car. Without you noticing, Arthur looked over his shoulder to stick his tongue out at the glaring Frenchman peeking through the window. You paused as you heard muffled screaming coming from your house. "Is Francis calling me?"

Arthur laughed as he quickly pulled you towards his car, "Oh you know Francis! That bastar- I mean guy is always watching telly dramas." He let out a sigh of relief as you shrugged and got into the passenger seat. Arthur paused as he pulled open the driver seat's door. Just for luck on today's proposal, he turned around, gave Francis a crude hand gesture, and drove off before Francis could yank him out of the car.

***

"Wow..." You gasped as the waiter led you and Arthur to your seats.

Like the gentleman he is, Arthur pulled out your chair for you. "Do you like it?"

"I love it!" You replied happily. "This place is beautiful!" The restaurant was like an diamond palace with its high ceilings, crystal chandeliers, and gold and white themed furniture. A single candle in an ornate crystal candle holder was placed in the middle of the table among a couple of scattered flower petals. "So what's the occasion?"

Arthur chuckled as he lifted a glass of wine to his lips, "I just wanted to treat you to some fine dining that's all."

You raised an eyebrow suspiciously but you decided that the time for questioning would have to wait because the appetizers set out in front of you were calling your name. Arthur let out a sigh of relief as you turned your attention towards the food. "That was a close one," Flying Mint Bunny muttered. "Don't try to act cool Arthur, it's too suspicious."

"Then how am I supposed to act? Like Alfred?" Arthur rolled his eyes and replied sarcastically.

"What was that Arthur?"

Arthur waved his hands apologetically, "Oh nothing love! I was just talking to Flying Mint Bunny."

Your face lit up. Even if you couldn't see the magical creature, you absolutely adored anything relating to magic and fantasy, You waved your hand to your right, "Is he here?"

"To your right love."

"Bonjour Mint Bunny!" You smiled happily. "Would you like to join us and eat some escargot?"

Mint Bunny covered his nose with his paws, "Ugh! More like escargross!"

You picked out the juiciest and plumpest snail you found and held it up to him, "Say ahhhh~"

Arthur covered his mouth to stifle his laughter as Flying Mint Bunny screamed bloody murder. "Arthur, your girlfriend is cute and all but I AM NOT GOING TO EAT THAT SLIMEY SNAIL!"

"Just eat it you twat!" Arthur whispered.

"HELL NO! I AM NOT PUTTING THAT IN MY MOUTH! I AM A VEGETAR-MMPFGHH!!" Arthur's shoulders shook as he struggled to retain his laughter. You just happened to shove the escargot into Mint Bunny's mouth while the poor rabbit was screaming his head off.

You let out a gasp of surprise, "Arthur! Arthur look! It's gone, the escargot disappeared!" You exclaimed gleefully like a little girl. "Did he like it?"

Arthur laughed as he glanced down at the mint colored rabbit laying on the floor lifelessly, "Oh he loved it."

Aside from the visit to the restroom thanks to the appetizer, the rest of the dinner went smoothly. You looked like you were in absolute heaven the entire time! All your favorite foods were served: Escargots a la bourguignonne, bouillbaisse, and mocha pots de crème for dessert. According to Francis, they were the foods that you loved the most since childhood. Arthur hated to admit it, but French cuisine was definitely delicious, but even more so with great company. As according to plan, you and Arthur proceeded towards the restaurant's famous flower garden.

You couldn't help but sigh in awe at the view. The full moon was brightly illuminated like a flashlight in the middle of a navy blue sky bespectacled with billions of diamonds and crystals over the calm and tranquil garden. The sky was covered with more stars than you have ever seen in your entire life. One by one, the garden's lanterns lit up as the two of you walked down the cobblestone sidewalk, side by side. Like a child in a candy shop, you couldn't help but tug on Arthur's sleeve and point out all the different types of flowers that caught your attention. The two of you stepped under a majestic arch covered entirely of roses of all colors.

"This place is beautiful," You turned to look at Arthur who had his eyes on you the entire time. He gave you such a gentle smile that it made your heart swell. He looked like a prince in his suit with the multicolored roses behind him.

Gently, he caressed your cheek with his hand as he stared into your sparkling (e/c) eyes, "But not as beautiful and stunning as the woman in front of me." A blush dusted your cheeks as you smiled up at him. It was corny and a bit cliché, but it was your dream to have someone whisper tacky lines to you like that. Arthur's slightly calloused hands enveloped your smaller soft ones, "I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise?" You asked excitedly. "What is it?"

He chuckled, "You'll see when we get there but first, cover your eyes."

You covered your eyes with your hands hesitantly, "You're not going to try anything funny are you?"

"Of course not, now just listen to the sound of my voice and follow me." Despite your many years of dating, you couldn't conceal the tomato red blush on your face right now. There was something different about the way he talked, the way he looked, and the way he behaved. You couldn't quite pinpoint it but it made your heart beat faster than it did when you first met him. Arthur guided you through the rose arch and towards Swan Lake. True to its name, Swan Lake is a lake within the expansive garden that was home to many swans. With every step he took, his heart beated faster and faster, his hands got sweatier, and Mint Bunny's teasing more annoying.



But none of that was going to stop him from making you Mrs. Kirkland.



Arthur took in a deep breath as he stopped in front of the lake. "(Name)," He gulped nervously. "Love, I have something to tell you."

"What is it Arthur?" You asked curiously.

Arthur dropped down on one knee and squeezed your hand gently, "(Name), it would do me the greatest honor if you could always stay by my side."

You smiled, "Of course Arthur. You know I love you enough to never leave you, even when you've ditched all your clothes for an apron when you're drunk."

"I-I-I-I don't mean it like that," Arthur stuttered before taking another breath to calm himself down. "What I'm trying to say is..." Arthur reached into his pocket, "Will you-" But his sentence was cut midway as he pulled out not the diamond ring, but a baby carrot.

"Bloody hell!"

You jumped in surprise, "Arthur? What is it? What happened? Can I open my eyes now?"

Arthur slapped a hand on his face. Not only was the ring missing, he was about to propose to you while you still had your eyes covered! "N-Not quite yet love!" He stuttered and looked around him frantically, "W-Wait right here. Don't move an inch okay?"

"I don't know what's going on but okay Arthur!"

Arthur rushed over to Flying Mint Bunny who was chatting to the rest of Arthur's magical friends, "Mint Bunny, where is the ring?"

"Why are you asking me? You were the one carrying the ring."

"Are you sure you didn't drop it somewhere?" A pixie asked worriedly.

"It was in my pocket the whole time!" Arthur whispered as he paced back and forth anxiously. "There was no other time I touched my pocket except…"


And then it clicked.


He turned to glare at Flying Mint Bunny, "YOU."

"Me?" The rabbit asked pointed to himself innocently. "Why are you blaming me? Knocker's the one who likes to take things!"

"You ate the ring!" Arthur shouted in his best whisper voice to prevent you from listening.

"Excuse me?!" Mint Bunny exclaimed, obviously offended. "Are you calling me a fat ass?! I did not eat your ring! I ate a carrot!"

"You did not eat the carrot, you ate the bloody ring!"

"I DID NOT EAT YOUR RING!"

"IF YOU DIDN'T EAT THE RING THEN EXPLAIN THIS!" Arthur shoved his hand in his pocket and took out a baby carrot. "YOU ATE THE 18 KAROT RING!"

"..." The rabbit rubbed his head innocently, "Oh...so there were two kinds of carrots."

"FOR THE LOVE OF BLOODY GOSH DAMN MERLIN YOU LITTLE TW-"

"Arthur?" You called out in the distance. "Is everything okay?"

"J-Just fine love!" Arthur hollered back. "I'll be there soon!" Arthur slowly turned to smile at Mint bunny deviously.

Flying Mint Bunny hopped back in fear as Arthur chuckled darkly, "Woah, woah, woah! Wh-What are you doing?"

"Oh nothing in particular~" Arthur smiled as he produced a wand from his back pocket. "I'm just going to play a fun little game called... O P E R A T I O N."

"Woah there lad!" the Green Man, a magical creature made entirely out of foliage, stepped in between the two. "Let's not resort to violence. Surely we can figure a way out of this."

Arthur let out a sigh of frustration as he ran a hand through his messy blond hair, "How? I prepared all this to propose to (Name)! This will all be in vain without a ring!"

"If it makes you feel better, I pooped and I didn't see a ring." Flying Mint Bunny mumbled sadly.

As frustrated as he was, Arthur couldn't help but laugh and pet him on the head. "It's all right, it's not your fault Mint Bunny. I should have been more specific with you earlier."

"But what about the ring?"

Arthur stood up and shrugged, "I'll have to break the news to her. I mean, it's not like I can just magically make a ring appear out of thin air." He spun on his heel to make his way back to you until he suddenly halted in his tracks. "Wait a minute," He muttered to himself. "Ring...thin air...magic...THAT'S IT!" He turned back to his magical comrades, "Magic! We can make a ring out of magic!"

The magical creatures nodded their heads and sounded in approval. "What a wonderful idea!" Oberon, the king of fairies exclaimed. "What do we have to do Sir Arthur?"

Arthur glanced over his shoulder at you, "Okay, we have to make this quick. Knocker, I want you to get me the finest silver out there. Oberon, get me a diamond, any size is fine. Green Man, come up with a design as beautiful as (Name) to decorate the ring. Pixies, incorporate Green Man's design onto the ring and inlay the stone."

"What about me? What about me?" Flying Mint Bunny bounced up at down excitedly.

Knowing for sure that the clumsy little minty rabbit would mess something up, Arthur feigned a serious tone. "You're in charge."

"All right you heard him guys! Let's get moving! Chop chop!" Mint Bunny ordered as everyone scrambled to make the ring. Arthur spun his wand around in his hand nervously as he paced back and forth. He had no idea if the ring would turn out as great as the original ring he bought, but it was worth a try. In less than three minutes, the ring was already in its final stage.

"Arthur!" Mint Bunny called him over. "The ring is done, all it needs now is for you to seal everything together."

Steadying his wand at the ring, Arthur took in a deep breath. "Well...here goes nothing!"


***


"Sorry to keep you waiting love."

You perked up after hearing Arthur's voice. "Oh it's not a problem Arthur. Are you all right? I was worried sick that maybe the escargot upsetted your stomach again."

He laughed, "If only it was as simple as that." Turning to his entourage of magical creatures, he nodded their heads at them. "Open your eyes love."

Finally, your eyes slowly fluttered open and there in front of you was another sight you've never seen before. The two of you were surrounded by pillars of the most beautiful flowers you have ever seen. Being the flower maniac you were, you could name every flower in the world, but these were different. They looked like flowers of another dimension. Some were even blooming right in front of your eyes! Turning to your left was an impressive lake with the most beautiful, white as snow swans. What caught you by surprise the most was that stunning beads of water spurted up from the lake and sparkled with light like a fountain show. You held out a hand to touch a firefly flying in front of you, but it giggled instead of buzzing on your finger. You exclaimed in surprise as millions of other multicolored orbs illuminated the area.

"Arthur, it-that-the firefly giggled!" You tugged on his sleeve excitedly.

Arthur laughed and held out a finger to touch the orb, "They're not fireflies love, they're pixies."

"Pixies?" You repeated in awe, wishing that you had the same gift as your boyfriend. "No wonder...everything right now, this moment…just seems so magical." Your attention was diverted towards a pair of swans that had their foreheads pressed against each other, forming a heart with their long necks. "Oh Arthur look," You smiled. "Isn't that adorable? I heard that once a swan finds their partner, they never leave them even after their partner passes away."

Arthur reached out for your hand and gulped nervously, "Actually...that sums up the reason why I brought you out here to Swan Lake." You looked up at him in confusion as he took both of your hands into his larger ones. His thumb stroked over your palms, the way he always does when he's terribly anxious. He stared down into your breath taking (e/c) eyes with his deep emerald orbs.

"(Name), before I met you, I was cynical, rude, blunt, and to be honest, a little lost. I wasn't the happiest of the bunch out there." He chuckled. "I guess you could say I was the personification of the Grinch that Stole Christmas. But that all changed when I met you. When I met you...I thought that I had met an angel." Arthur's voice lowered as he placed his forehead against yours, hands tightening their grip around yours. "You made me smile when nothing did, taught me how to laugh when I had forgotten the feeling, believe even when nothing was going right, stand tall when I wanted nothing but to hide...but most importantly,"

You were on the verge of tears with all the heartfelt things he was saying. With every sentence he spoke, you could feel the wave of emotions he had accumulated for you within all these years. With just as glazed eyes, Arthur slipped his finger under your chin and gently tilted your head to gaze into your watery eyes. "You picked me, out of all the people in the world, to love."

The cool, night air gently pushed back Arthur's fringe and billowed your (h/l) hair in the wind as the faint sound of singing and harps resounded in the background. "I'm going to be honest with you, falling in love with you made my life nothing but a terribly beautiful mess. But I wouldn't change it for a thing. There were times where I felt so happy that I questioned if this was a dream or not and there were times where my heart ached so much that it felt like I was being burned alive."

Arthur smiled as he carefully tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear, "And I still experience that feeling. We've been together for quite a number of years now and I've been experiencing nothing but heart ache. My heart aches because of how much I love you." The orbs of light in the background began to change from a bright yellow to a beautiful shade of emerald green, just like Arthur's eyes. "Whenever you kiss me telling me to have a good day at work or a good night, whenever you hug me because you're sad and happy, whenever you stutter in French when you're nervous, whenever you eat my scones even if they taste horrible, whenever you try to talk to my magical friends without caring about being called crazy by others..." Arthur sighed and at that moment, you swore that you saw in the background, a choir of mermaids singing in the lake, fairies and pixies humming as they carried balls of light, wind and earth spirits creating an orchestra using nature and songbirds, and Flying Mint Bunny blowing his nose into a Pegasus's wing.


"Whenever you do all these things that you and only you could do, I can't help but think, 'Blimey, I love her.'"


The tears that you were trying so hard to hold in trickled down your flushed cheeks. Biting your lip, you looked up at Arthur, desperately wanting to tell him about all these unspoken words of love you've had for him too, but the words just couldn't be uttered no matter how many times you tried. Arthur kissed your eyelids sweetly as he wiped the tears away with his thumb. Rubbing his nose against yours, he whispered, "I love you (Name). More than magic, more than tea, more than Union Jacks, more than your love for sweets. I love you more than anything you can imagine."

Tightening your grip on his hands, you placed your tear stained face onto his chest, nodded, and muttered a 'Mm' like a particular Swede as your voice failed you. You could feel Arthur's heart pounding just as fast as yours as you leaned onto him. Stroking your hair with his free hand, Arthur smiled at the nostalgic scent of your sweet smelling shampoo, French Vanilla, his newest favorite scent.

"I love you so much that it hurts knowing that I can't be with you at every second of the day. That's why..." Arthur carefully pulled you away from him, gently kissed your tears away, took a hold of your hand, placed his other hand over his heart, and dropped down onto one knee.



"I want to be with you, forever, always, everlasting, endlessly, and for eternity."



Arthur slipped his hand into his pocket and this time, produced the most beautiful ring you have ever seen. You instantly recognized the intricate Celtic heartstring patterns but other than that, there were no other words to describe it. The way the large diamond was encased onto the ring, how little bits of emeralds surrounded it, the intricate details binded into them...it took your breath away. It was like no other ring you've seen before. Holding the ring in between his slightly shaky fingers, he carefully tightened his grip on your hand as if afraid it would break, and looked up at you with the brightest smile he has ever given you,




"Will you marry me?"




You threw yourself onto the Brit so suddenly that the two of you toppled over onto the grass . The tears that Arthur kissed away came back streaming uncontrollably down your cheeks and onto his face. From the corner of your eye, a fairy tossed a handful of glittery dust on the ground causing a bed of beautiful white flowers to sprout underneath and around the two of you. You smashed your lips onto his, hoping to express the words that you couldn't speak before. The kiss was sweet, rough, but full of the love you both held for each other.  

Arthur chuckled as he wiped away the tears on your face while you wiped away his, "Oui." You nodded, the tears never pausing and your smiles never fading. "A hundred, a thousand, a million times..."



"Oui."



And in that moment it was like every missing puzzle in your life was pieced together, every stray thread sewn, every end knotted, and every fairy tale's very own,

Happily Ever After